Yesterday afternoon we went to a funeral for a neighbour who'd passed away from cancer. Mr. B was a familiar sight, he was always out for a walk with Mrs. B and would stop to chat with us and we occasionally dropped in over there as the kids loved to play in their yard, run up their little stone steps, jump off their retaining wall & have a little visit. I debated whether to go or not, funerals aren't the greatest event to take kids to but they'd already been to a few so already knew the drill and we'd missed the visitations so I really felt we should go. It was during the day of course so Murray couldn't keep them home with him so off we went. It was a bit of a rush, getting home at 12:30 and having lunch, getting cleaned up and getting to the church on time! Somehow we made it and even looked respectable! The girls chose their fanciest dresses (baby prom) and as I was rushing them into the car, Sweetie stopped and saw the brown eyed Susans growing in our (weed) garden. Frustrated, I told her to get a move on and she told me "wait! I need that flower" My first instinct was to tell her she NEEDED to get in the car like I'd asked but fighting about that would take waaaaaaaaaaaay longer than letting her grab the freakin' flower so she got her "need" fulfilled. As we were leaving the yard, I asked why she "neeeeeeeeeded" it anyway. She started to say it was for Great Grampy and then realized she was getting her funerals mixed up and shook her head and said "I need it for Mrs. B" Okaaaaaaaaaaaay. interesting. We found the church and it was pretty full but we found seats off to the side. Sweetie started looking around, searching. I asked what she was looking for. "I'm looking for Mrs. B, I need to give her the flower." Oh boy. The funeral's about to start..... do I send her or make her wait???? Then I figured she'd probably get nervous and change her mind and just sit down again, so I pointed out the front row (not far from us) where I could see Mrs. B sitting with her family. Sweetie starts off then quickly retreats. She can't remember what she looks like. I describe her and point her out again. People are curious about this little girl walking around with the flower. She stops in front of the wrong lady who vaguely resembles the description but she's not convinced and looks at me for more help. Finally I give in and walk up to the front row and take her over as everyone looks on. Mrs. B is delighted and asks her for a hug and Sweetie's pleased and we go back to our seats.
The funeral was well underway when the girls started to get very warm in their dresses. They were squirming and starting to get very uncomfortable. I tried to keep them quiet but after 40 minutes the service didn't appear to be getting any closer to ending. Sweetie then started asking to go to the bathroom but I told her she'd need to wait. She'd just gone before we left so I wasn't convinced that this was legit. It only took 4 words to change my mind! "I have to POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Well, you just don't mess around with that. I stalled her a few more minutes til the guy finished his speech/eulogy thinger and everyone stood for a hymn. We slipped out as discreetly as possible with three 5 yr olds and found a bathroom quickly and waited out back reading some stories we found until the service ended about half an hour later. We went down for the reception for a few minutes so we could say goodbye. The girls found the buffet and wanted to dive right in but I distracted them with the juice table! Once they'd gotten a drink & a cookie, I headed over to the family and Mr. B's son came over to us immediately.
Son: Kelly! oh my goodness! those black eyed Susans!
Kelly: uh well, a good distraction I guess?
Son: it couldn't have been MORE perfect!
Kelly: oh. yes, that's good!
Son: Dad LOVED those flowers, they were his favourite!
Kelly: it was weird because we were getting in the car & suddenly she insisted she needed that flower.
Son: tell her to keep following her instincts, they're right on.
That evening we ran into Mrs. B out for a walk and she told us that Sweetie's flower absolutely made her day.
How does a 5 year old know just the perfect thing to give a grieving widow at her husband's funeral???
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