Bean Counters

Some of you have heard about our little "system" in the house but for those who haven't, here's the deal:

We were having a terrible time getting the girls to do anything in the mornings to get ready for preschool. They didn't want to get dressed, they didn't want to sit at the table & eat breakfast, they didn't want to get their teeth brushed, make their beds or anything else we asked. Every morning was a screaming match starring the Raving Lunatic Mother (aka Me). It was beyond frustrating and to hear "why should I?" to every request was enough to bring RLM to the forefront in a hurry. I decided this was no way to start off the day, spend the day and end the day.

This topic came up on the triplets email group that I have belonged to since I was pregnant. Everyone in this group had their triplets within 6 months of each other so we've all faced the stages & milestones & challenges around the same time. This group has been a lifesaver a million times over. These mums totally get it, they're living it too! So, discipline, rewards etc has been a frequent topic on this message board. Someone said they'd had good success and I was ready to try anything!

The bean system focuses on rewarding & encouraging the good behaviours/chores you're trying to work on. The kids earn beans for different things and can then cash the beans in for various treats, outings, special items. I got 3 mason jars, bought some decorations, flowers, stickers, jewels etc and let them each decorate their own jar. At supper that night, we talked about how everyone needs to help out and listen to Murray & I when we ask them to do something. We asked what kinds of jobs they could do and I wrote everything down and added a few things to the list. Then, we asked what they would like to have for their treats/rewards.

The earnings chart looks something like this:

Make bed- 1 bean

Get dressed- 1 bean

Do something without being asked 2 beans

Clean Up 1 bean

Try everything on your plate 2 beans

Clean your plate 3 beans

Put away laundry 1 bean

Put on PJ's without a tornado tantrum 1 bean

do something nice for your sister/friend 3 beans

...and so forth

Spending options are:

Go for icecream/doughnut 15 beans

Extra story at bedtime 6 beans

bath all by yourself 10 beans

Movies/gymnastics/swimming 25 beans

and then there's the GRAND ULTIMATE PRIZE: SLEEPOVER AT GRAMMIE & GRANDAD'S!!!!!! FIFTY BEANS (M&D thought this was horribly unfair & unattainable, however they're on, at least, between all of them, their 6th sleepover at the moment so I think they're ok with this "cost" now!)

(one sleepover's worth)

Murray was skeptical but they looooooooooooooove their jars, they loooooooooooove getting their beans, they love dumping out the jar & counting their beans and this has helped them with their numbers & counting, they love cashing in for their rewards. They go bonkers if they get penalized & lose a bean (a time out causes the removal of a bean from the jar) and often do extra jobs so they can earn more beans. Eventually, as they master tasks that were once a major issue, you change up the ways they earn their beans and things that they should just do because it's part of family life (get dressed, make bed etc) get removed and other things get added in. Mornings are now much smoother, not always perfect, but much less yelling and chasing and pinning down, jamming on coats & dumping kid out the door going on now!

It's also helping them see how earning & saving work. They get to make choices and decide whether to choose this now or save up for something better. They've gone out for doughnuts quite often, swimming once or twice, the library a few times. Most of the time they choose to do these outings alone with just one of us all to themselves which is a big part of the treat itself. Occasionally they want one of their sisters to come with them and sometimes we all go.

A couple weeks ago, Lovey counted out her beans and had JUST enough for a sleepover. She asked me to separate those beans in a little baggie so she would know they were for the sleepover and wouldn't spend them on something else by mistake. She kept those beans and waited til she earned more before cashing in for a story or anything else. She phoned Grandad this week and told him she had enough and asked if she could come for a sleepover this weekend. He was pretty sure it'd be ok and Grammie confirmed it when she got home from work (btw, Lovey has their phone number memorized & can dial it herself which she's quite proud of!) Yesterday in the car, Lovey was talking about her sleepover and asked Sweetie if she wanted to go too. Sweetie pretended that was outrageous (but I could tell she was anxious to go) and said "me? go with you for the sleepover?!?!?!? that would be crazy!!!!!!!!" Lovey replied "oh! COME on! Do it! Do it! Come with me!!!!" Sweetie's rubber arm magically twisted and she said "oh ok, I'll come then."

What about Honey!??!?!? She was immediately concerned that she'd miss them and be scared to sleep in her room alone.... Lovey suggested that if she did get lonely, Honey could get a picture of Lovey & Sweetie and look at it to help her feel better. (so helpful!) I reminded Honey that she also had enough beans for a sleepover if she wanted to go but she prefers to go by herself and have full grandparental attention. She thought about this all the way home, during lunch and afterwards as we waited for Grammie to pick the girls up. She went back & forth a few times and was genuinely torn. I told her we could go out for icecream, just her and I and the girls told her she could play with any of their stuff that she wanted while they were gone. Honey didn't think that sounded nearly as much fun as going to G&G's. Seeing her struggle with this decision was kindof cute but I could tell she was really having a hard time. Finally I told her that she had enough beans for TWO sleepovers so if she wanted to go with her sisters this time, she still had enough to have her own sleepover another time. That did it. She ran down the hall & packed her bag and was ready in no time. LOL Apparently full motherly attention is no match for 1/3 of grandparental fun ;)))

Mum & Dad are trying out a new puppy so the kids are having a great time at the sleepover so far!

This, of course, left Murray & I heartbroken & lonely so we consoled ourselves the best we could. With dinner at a restaurant who doesn't have free smiles, or at least, doesn't advertise them in neon yellow! We greatly enjoyed our supper and even went out for a movie. I'd suggested "Taken" but he picked "Shopaholic" because it started 20 minutes earlier. Fine by me! Although, it wasn't probably 20 minutes in before he began to regret his hastiness LOL

He has hockey tonight so is off to rough up some nice Christian boys. The CHL isn't as clean as you'd think from the name! His team is doing quite well again this year and he hasn't needed any stitches for a little while so he's happy!

Kid Talk

On the way to preschool the other day they were talking amongst themselves in the backseat. Suddenly, they have a question.

Them: Mummy? How do dogs get married??? (must have been thinking of Lady & the Tramp right?)

Me: Oh! well dogs don't get married actually.

Them: then how do they get puppies???????

Me (totally blindsided!): uhhhh, welllllllll, ummmm dogs are different than people......

More Fun in the Snow!

Another day, more snow, good temperatures, what's a girl to do? Drag unwilling kids outside of course! Honey was keen & got her stuff on in record time. It helps that she has a "new to her" snowsuit from Boo that is the perfect colour. Purple of course. This new suit is great but man oh man it's a fightmaker (I can say this with all of 2 days experience with it in the house).

I bought 3 new snowsuits this winter. I'd been looking for some & when I saw that Joe Fresh had them for $45 each I thought it was perfect. They're prettty pink, have fancy fur around the hood, rip & tear easily, let in snow to melt and chill little legs.... *sigh* I should have known better. The material seemed a bit soft but I figured "who would make a kids' snowsuit out of something that won't hold up to playing in the snow around here?" Well, apparently Mr. Fresh would. All three suits have numerous tears, the seams are coming undone and they're just a disaster. I picked up a couple Osh Kosh suits from a twin mom from my multiples group but one was too big & Boo's suit was getting too small so Teena & I traded & I now have 2 suits that fit & 1 that is the least disasterish of the three. However this leaves 2 desirable suits & 1 unacceptable suit. The desire for the "new" is a bit of a problem. I checked out Columbia snowpants at the mall on the weekend. $50 for a pair of PANTS? and they were 6X & black and the only ones they had. I left them there. I know we still have plenty of winter left so I need to come up with something! Anyway, since the new suit was purple, I gave it to Honey and she's pleased as punch of course. However, Lovey & Sweetie are a bit put out at this. They squabbled over the Osh Kosh suit. Finally I decided I'd pull a King Solomon on them & give half to each. That didn't fly with Lovey who wanted the whole thing to herself. I told her to choose which half she wanted but she just clamped her little hands over all of it & started screaming & kicking me when I tried to take one of the pieces. Well that settled that. Sweetie got the whole thing & Lovey ran to her room to cry.

I felt bad but didn't have another fancy suit to offer..... but did have new boots downstairs that they hadn't really used yet! and they had diamonds (errr somehting sparkly anyway) on them! I gave her a few minutes to cool off and then told her I had some new diamond boots she could wear. Well THAT got her attention in a hurry! Tears evaporated, smile back on full power, she jumped into her old crappy snowsuit and trotted off in her diamond boots, happy as can be. Probably not the best way to handle it but we all got outside for a couple of hours while I shovelled out the mailbox, the garbage box, the snowplow dump at the end of hte driveway & our neighbour's garbage box (her husband's away through the week so I wasn't sure she'd get a chance & tomorrow's garbage day).

I wasn't out there long when Sweetie had trouble with the coveted suit! The snowpants kept riding up & exposing her pants & letting snow in her boots. (Osh Kosh really needs to look into gaiters!) Maaaaaaaaaaaaaajor freak out. I let her inside & told her to put on her pink snowsuit instead & come back out. A little while later I hear her calling me from her bedroom window. I am instantly cranky. She's obviously not getting her snowsuit on!!!!!!!!! I holler for her to get down to the entryway and she tries to argue. I start my "you'd better MOVE before I count to 10 or you're in TROUBLE" routine &I hear her flying through the house to obey but screaming crying the whole way. I open the door & not only does she not have any of her snow gear on, but she's ditched her socks & pants as well. Cranky goes up a couple notches. Her pants had gotten wet so she ws just going to stay inside. I veto that plan & tell her to get pants & snowsuit BACK on ASAP. More crying screaming through the house and I go back to shovelling, not trusting myself to go in after her at that point. After a bit, the door opens & out she comes, perfectly dressed & ready to play. She is the last child to come in once we're done & wants to stay outside the longest. Go figure. Kids!

Prince & Goldie

These were the names of the horses who pulled our sleigh two years ago & again last year. The girls had been asking a few weeks ago if we could make sure we got the same ones again. The stuff they remember!

It was a perfect day for a sleighride, big fluffy flakes falling down and not the least bit cold! and to top it all off, we DID get Prince & Goldie for our sleigh. And as if THAT wasn't enough, Fkoas decided to come along with us instead of hanging out with the other teens at the lodge while they waited for their turn. I was very flattered that she wanted to be with us :) (I think she likes us!!) Sweetie was in heaven and barely budged off Fkoas' lap the whole time.

Yet another highlight of the day. Woohoo, childhood dreams do come true :P

After the sleighride, we had a huge potluck supper with all the families and it was right some good! It has been said on many occasions that our church is the "most eatingest church around" and we do like our food. Today was no exception! The kids had a great time playing with the others and made a couple new friends who were 10 & 12 yrs old.

Between the cold weather & just being too tired, I haven't had the kids out as much as usual in the last couple of weeks so today helped make up for that! After they were done eating, they all wanted to go back outside & play on the huge hills the snowplows have made from clearing the parking lot. Then when we got home, Sweetie still wasn't ready to come in & she & Murray played out there another hour. I opened the door to check on them but couldn't see them in the dark but I could hear a fast approaching squeal & mad giggles and suddenly they zoomed by as Murray pushed her in the stroller. She loved every minute of it and was in no hurry to get inside. Murray finally asked her if she was getting cold and then she realized that her fingers were, and only then did she come in.

Vday goodies!

Murray got me a dozen gorgeous roses earlier in the week when he was in town. He rarely goes into the "city" so he took the opportunity to do his shopping when he was on his way to hockey the other night. When I woke up the next morning they were waiting for me on the kitchen table.

and inside the bouquet were brand new diamond rings!!!!! not. ;) but I still like my original ones so that's fine by me.

I'd done a lot of baking this week for other people. We took cupcakes to the playgroup party and then we took a little cake over to Shirley with some Valentines and then I made a big cake for the youth group Vday party. Not one crumb for us & the girls were starting to ask why WE didn't get to eat anything!?!?!? I certainly didn't want anybody feeling neglected so I baked this one Saturday morning & decorated it after we got home from the birthday party.

We didn't have any major plans last night but we did have a game of scrabble, which I won! This is a verrrrrrrrry rare event and I even got over 300 points which is my best score ever! There are lots of old scoresheets in the box so I was able confirm this. Who knew I'd gotten so smart????