Banana Christmas

The kids were determined to get an early start on Christmas this year. As they went to bed, they repeatedly asked "how EARLY can we get up!?!?!" Knowing that they have never woken before 7am on Christmas in their lives and that most years we've had to wake THEM up, Murray felt safe telling them they couldn't wake us up before 5. I wasn't quite as confident on them sleeping in but was quite sure we wouldn't be seeing them at 5!

I shouldn't have doubted them! I woke up to use the facilities between 2 & 3am and found Lovey & Sweetie playing on their iPods in the living room. I told them to get back to bed! They were surprised that it wasn't as close to morning as they'd thought. They figured it would be light out pretty soon. I fell back asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow until......

brrrrrrrrttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!! brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttttt! Ahhhhh the 5am whistle start for Christmas. A lovely new tradition that I will ensure never repeats itself by hiding this whistle next December!!!!!!!

As is our custom, everyone ran down to grab their stocking and check it out. Santa had also left each of them a box of junky cereal that they love but only get twice a year (Christmas & birthday). They raced back upstairs with their stash of Lucky Charms, Cookie Crisp and Cocoa Puffs (actually they're called Nestlé Quik or something now but I'm too old to change haha!) and belted down  a bowl each and moved on to the fruit round, where things came to a screeching/grinding halt. Sweetie & Honey chose grapes, they can be washed quickly and they don't hate them so they're quickly consumed.

Lovey chose an alternate and unfortunate path. The banana. She is ridiculously fussy about the state of ripeness of her bananas in the first place. They can't be eaten on the day they're bought. She won't even look at one if it came home from the store that day. They can't have ANY green on them whatsoever. They must be very yellow but not squishy at all. They must have brown spots on them, buuuuuuuut not toooooooooo many and again, the banana must retain some firmness to be an acceptable candidate into the Lovey Breakfast Program. (all of which is enough to push me over the edge on a regular day!)

She managed to find one that met all her criteria. The problem is that at 9½ years of age, the girl still doesn't know how to sit in a chair at the table. While sitting side saddle and goofing around, she managed to drop her banana on the floor. No big deal, it being Christmas and all, I actually swept and mopped in the not too distant past. Five second rule and we're good to..... not so fast.

*insert wailing indignation here*
Lovey: "I can't eat this banana."
Me: are you kidding me? get that into you!
Lovey: No!!!!!!!!!! I won't. I can't. I'm not eating it!
Murray: you're not going to open any presents until you eat that
Lovey: I caaaaaaaaaaaaaan't! Nooooooooooooo!
Me: (after peeking at the offending item, seeing NOTHING wrong with it) just rinse it off then if you're worried about it.
Lovey: eww! then it'll be all gross and slimey!
Me: well if there's anything on it, just scrape it off and move on.
Lovey: (real tears flowing) I cannnnnnnnnnnnnnn't eat THAT!!!!!!!
Me: your call. We're going to go downstairs once I've cleared the dishes.
Lovey: (screaming and crying now) NOOOOOOOOOO! I'm not eating it. Give me something else!!!!
Me: (the not so patient one who has dealt with way too many of her tirades and demands and manipulations lately and who was woken up at 5am with a whistle blast!) No, we're not wasting that banana because you're being unreasonable. (I take the banana and rinse it, figuring she's probably got at least another 20 minutes of fight left in her which should be sufficient time for the banana to air dry if I pat it with a paper towel first, might as well get this show on the road)
Lovey: (five alarm freak out mode) NOOOOOOOOO! WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?!?!? IT'S RUINED. I'm NOT eating that banana! Ewwwww! Yuck! IT'S GROSS. I won't eat it, I cannnnnnnnnnnnnn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Parents exit stage left and head downstairs...



We told Honey & Sweetie to start opening their gifts over the wailing protests coming from upstairs. After a couple of presents I go up and tell her she can bring her banana downstairs and join us while we open gifts only if she is quiet. She then comes downstairs. Somehow while she's sitting on the couch, she manages to drop the banana a couple more times and again starts with the "I can't...". We ignore her and Sweetie and Honey are through most of their gifts now and are waiting on her to open the gifts for all 3 of them. Finally, she decides she wants in on this Christmas deal after all and the banana is gone in less than a minute. The battle of wills is over and Christmas is on. Once she began, it was like nothing had ever happened. Her gears change fast!




Yes, bananas are just about the cheapest fruit. Yes, it was Christmas Day. Yes, there was other fruit in the house. Yes, we did hold her presents hostage. Admittedly, it was rather awful having such a wild scene on Christmas morning. However, it wasn't really the fruit that was the problem, it's the attitude that has been an issue too many times lately and we weren't willing to overlook any more of it. The stubbornness is out of control! And besides, we'll have the Banana Christmas to remember long after th e popcorn maker is broken and they've outgrown those rainbow looms!