Mean Girls

The girls got home from school yesterday and Sweetie had had a problem at school & on the ride home. Another little girl was making fun of her and enlisting others, including Tulip! They would pretend she was a monster and every time she went near them to play or even looked their way, they all pretended she was hideous/scary and would shriek in mock fear until she went away. If she asked to play with them, the girl would immediately tell her "Sorry Sweetie, this is only a 2 player game". and so on.

The first time it happened, she wasn't too upset and I told her to ignore her and find her other friends to play with. The next time it happened, Sweetie told the girl that it made her sad when they acted like that and the girl tossed out a saucy "So?!?" and got mad and meaner so Sweetie didn't want to do anything about it for fear of it getting worse. As soon as the other girl wasn't around, Tulip felt bad and apologized and promised not to do it ever again. Then yesterday was at least the 3rd time they played the "monster game" and were "terrified" of Sweetie. They'd look at her and giggle and whisper back and forth and scream etc. The girl goes to a babysitter on our street so she's on the bus the entire way home and hard to avoid. Again Tulip apologized and promised again not to play the monster game anymore. She was afraid to go against the girl because she would get mad and then be mean to Tulip. She gets upset on the playground when they don't play her game or if she doesn't get her way and all 4 girls said that she gets really mean and they're afraid to make her mad at them and don't want to tell a teacher. Sweetie said that after she got to her babysitter's house that Sweetie felt a tear run down her cheek even though she didn't mean to cry.

That was enough for me. I phoned Tulip's mom to find out more details from Tulip's perspective. Was this girl as intimidating as my girls were claiming? Was Sweetie just being oversensitive? dramatic? (because that's not really out of the question around here!) As soon as Penny got on the phone, Tulip was excited and thought I was calling to invite her over and I could hear her right beside her mom, "can I go over???? can I??? can I Mom????". Then I asked Penny if she could ask Tulip what the monster game was about, I heard "Monster game???..... Tulip do you know..... hey? where did you go? Tulip?" Aha. It wasn't harmless if she felt the need to disappear that fast! Tulip said the same things, she didn't like to do that but if she didn't then the girl would get mad and be mean to her and she was afraid not to. Penny immediately said "and what is that called when someone does that???? they're being a ......?" Tulip finished it for her "bully". Since Tulip usually plays really well with the girls, I didn't really think this game was her idea so it was good to know where it was coming from and why she was involved.

I decided to email the teacher and ask what we should do. I didn't want Sweetie shedding even ONE more tear because of this. At bed time she was a mess of tears, so worried about how mad this girl was going to be or how mean she'd be if they got her in trouble. Eventually Murray got her to sleep.

Today her teacher replied to my email and said she'd talk to the girls and phone me after school. I waited for the bus anxiously today. Sweetie came down the steps looking happy and at ease which was a huge relief! She told me that the teacher had take the two girls into another classroom to talk about what was going on. She asked them each questions and checked with Sweetie to see if what the other girl was saying was true and for the most part it all went well. Sweetie did say that the other girl tried to make it sound like it didn't happen as often as it did but other than that she admitted to everything Sweetie had said. Miss D flat out told the girl "what you're doing is bullying." It made me feel so much better to know that the teacher agreed with me. I wasn't jumping the gun and throwing in the B word prematurely. It was exactly what I'd thought. She did phone me later and said she felt bad that Sweetie had gone through that and that she is a kind and sweet girl who wouldn't have done anything to hurt or upset the other girl."I've been her teacher since September, I know her."

Sweetie was very happy to have everything taken care of and feels so much better about the whole situation. She made Miss D a special card to say thank you for helping her. :) I hope that this is the end of it, or will the other girl be mad and retaliate now???